


The Freedom to Love

by BoldlyGoingNowhereFast



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ACWNR, Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, M/M, Sentinel/Guide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoldlyGoingNowhereFast/pseuds/BoldlyGoingNowhereFast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The underground city is dangerous, especially for an unbonded Sentinel like Levi. Levi doesn't expect to find his Guide while trapped underground, so he is rather surprised when his Guide finds him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Freedom to Love

**Author's Note:**

> I love the Guide/Sentinel trope, and I thought it fit really well with this ship. This is my first time writing for this fandom, so this is a test-run I guess. If you've never heard of this trope, don't worry it's great. If you have, enjoy! Also, this contains spoilers for A Choice with no Regrets.

Soaring above the underground city propelled by the 3D maneuvering gear is the closest Levi has ever felt to true freedom. With the usually stagnant air whipping at his hair as he shoots under the rocky ceiling of his world, Levi wonders if he will ever have more control than he possesses at this moment. With a flick of his wrist and a pivot of his hips, he moves precisely how he wants to, unfettered by the city below and all its squalor.

With the wind buffeting his face, Levi is almost able to pretend he is a normal person who doesn’t have to deal with the constant attack against his senses on a daily basis.

Levi can nearly recall the look of shocked horror on his mother’s face when the doctor had spoken the word aloud, and as a five-year-old he had been much too young to understand that the word had been like a death sentence in his mother’s eyes.

The underground was no place for a Sentinel, and his mother had known at that moment that her child would live a life of pain and ridicule like no other children would. The putrid stink could drive someone with heightened senses mad, and the murky darkness was damaging to the sensitive eyesight of the Sentinel. At age five, his future looked bleak.

Levi’s young life had been filled with pain and persecution, and he had fought against it by becoming lethal, both in fighting and in speech. He cut out the world around him and he used his heightened senses to perfect his abilities. He did all he could to ignore the awful headaches he got regularly, tried to pretend he couldn’t sense the sickness he would surely get if he stayed in this city for much longer. As a Sentinel, Levi is not meant to live somewhere such as the underground, especially untethered as he is. It is the reason why he is obsessively clean and why he does all he can to avoid touching strangers. He can sense every bit of filth around him with precision no average person possesses, and it makes him nearly mad with the need to clean everything.

Levi can remember clearly the reactions of his peers when they found out what he truly was. Of course, Levi had never really fit in, with his quick temper and his proclivity for zoning out at random intervals. But when they discovered that he was not a normal child, they had started actively avoiding him.

_“He’s a Sentinel without a Match. He could go crazy at any moment.”_

The childish taunts sometimes still echo in Levi’s ears.

There is next to no chance that he will meet his Match down here in this horrid city, trapped and with his senses troubled at all times by the horror around him. The thought used to keep Levi awake at night; now it sits with cold reality in the deep parts of his mind.

Farlan and Isabel and the only ones Levi can recall ever treating him as a normal person. They both dealt with his mood swings and even helped clean when the need struck him. They were like family, when his own family had decided he was more work than they could handle. Farlan and Isabel knew he was a Sentinel, but loved him for who he was.

“Whoa, are we sure those are the Military Police?” Farlan asks, looking behind him at the three figures hot on their tail and breaking Levi out of his inner thoughts. The men pursuing them weave effortlessly around the buildings as if Levi and his gang weren’t highly skilled at the 3D maneuvering gear and were instead average criminals.

“They’re not Military Police,” Levi responds, not bothering to look back. He knows now that they’re being chased by members of the Survey Corps, but that doesn’t explain the strange feeling sitting low in his stomach that had started when he had laid eyes on the three unknown men, faces covered by hoods.

“They’re not? Who are they, then?” Isabel asks, eyes wide as she shoots Levi a questioning look.

“They’ve got the Wings of Freedom on their sleeves,” Levi says evenly. “We’re being chased by the Survey Corps.” He had known it nearly from the beginning, by the way they moved, and the sight of the crest had only proved his intuition.

He registers the twin gasps of shock on either side of him, but his mind is already calculating how to throw these guys off. He barks an order at Farlan and Isabel to split up, and at their response of affirmative, Levi is shooting ahead, ready to see just how talented these goons really are.

Levi takes off, twisting his body in midair so that he barely makes it through the gap between two buildings, springing out on the other side. He maneuvers around two buildings, flips under a low bridge, and is somewhat surprised when a heavy weight slams into him as soon as he gets back out into the open. His back is slammed into the ground, causing the breath to whoosh from his lungs as both he and his attacker slide across the dirty street.

He manages to dislodge the weight with a swift jerk of his hips, yanking out his knife just in time to spin out of the way as the man lunges forward. Unfortunately, his the motion is a breath too late, and he finds himself being pressed back against the nearest wall, holding the long, military-issue blade away from his neck with nothing but his small knife.

It’s when he finally sees the face of his attacker pressed close to him, finally makes eye contact with the mysterious leader that everything tilts into place.

His heart nearly stops as the world freezes around him, and he can feel his eyes widen. Everything around him fades away, and all that is left is that face, those strangely bright blue eyes under thick brows.

It seems that his reaction is mirrored in his attacker, and it is at the same moment that they lower their weapons. Levi barely registers the sound of his knife clattering on the ground. His ears are filled with the sound of his own speeding heart and heavy breathing.

They are standing mere inches apart, staring, and Levi finds he cannot look away, cannot clear his mind of _this._

_This is his Guide._ This man with the strong jaw and combed blond hair is _his._

Suddenly, he cannot resist the urge to touch. He grips the edges of his Guide’s cloak and pulls him forward, noticing that his Guide gives no resistance. Levi can’t help pressing his face into the uniform shirt and inhaling. His Guide smells like home. Arms come up around his shoulders and hold him in place and it feels _right._

“Commander?”

At the rough voice, Levi tenses, tightening his fists in the green fabric of the cloak. A hand runs up and down his back, soothing in a way Levi didn’t know he could be soothed.

“It’s alright, he’s one of my men,” his Guide says in a soft tone, and his voice is perfect, low and smooth and Levi wonders if there ever existed a better voice. “I’m going to talk to him and clear everything up, okay? Just let me talk to him and we can get away from here.”

Levi reluctantly nods, pulling back but not releasing his hold on the cloak. He can’t allow their connection to break, or he feels his Guide will vanish and take all hope Levi has with him. Hell, he doesn’t even know the man’s name yet.

His Guide puts a hand on the small of Levi’s back, a possessive hand, and turns them around so he can face the soldiers standing in the center of the street, and Levi’s eyes widen slightly when he sees Farlan and Isabel both held captive by the other two soldiers. Neither of them are struggling though, and the men of the Survey Corps are also somewhat limp, staring at Levi and their commander with matching expressions of confusion on their faces.

“Mike, the mission is off, alright? Let them go.”

Mike exchanges a look with the other soldier. “Excuse me sir, but Parks and I are a little confused.”

And Levi can’t help but wonder if a bonding is just as uncommon on the surface as it is down below, especially among men as old as they are. Most Guides and Sentinels find each other early on and stay out of the way of the general public.

Levi can feel his patience running thin. He needs his Guide’s attention, needs to be allowed the time to take in his scent, to wrap as much of himself around his Guide as he possibly can. They need time to bond. Though Levi is definitely not an expert on bonding, as isolated as the underground can be, he knows that bonding pairs need time to themselves otherwise they risk lashing out at those around them. Sentinels are especially prone to be extremely territorial. Levi can already feel his hackles rising at the looks the both of them are receiving.

“Mike, just do as I ask. Find a place to stay nearby and wait until I give the order to move out. You know the protocol for a bonding. I shouldn’t have to remind you.”

Levi senses that his Guide is a caring leader, but the instincts of the bonding are much stronger than any training he may have received.

Levi sees Farlan and Isabel’s eyes go wide as they are released from their hold, gazes directed at the contact Levi and the commander share, but Farlan nods at Levi with a small smile and ushers Isabel away. The soldiers follow soon after, and then Levi has his Guide’s attention back.

“Do you have a place here that we can go? Somewhere we won’t be disturbed?”

Levi knows a place immediately. Neither Farlan nor Isabel know where it is, and it’s a place Levi goes only when he’s trying to get ahold of himself or needing to sit alone in the darkness. It’s a small, one room apartment not far away, and it’s the perfect place for them at the moment.

Levi leads them quickly, under bridges and between buildings, and the ten minutes it takes to get there, to close the door to the room and close themselves away from the world, seems like it lasts forever.

His Guide wraps his arms around Levi as soon as the door of the small apartment is closed.

“What’s your name?” the Guide asks softly into Levi’s ear. Levi has already pressed his face back into his shirt, inhaling the already familiar scent, disliking how the scent of many other people is there as well.

“Levi.”

“Levi,” he repeats in that deep, smooth voice of his, and it rumbles through Levi’s body. He says it with reverence, and Levi can’t help the small shiver that runs down his spine.

“I’m Erwin,” the Guide says, running a hand up and into the back of Levi’s hair, cupping Levi’s skull in a hand that is probably twice the size of Levi’s hands. “And I’m your Guide.”

At those words, after finally hearing the man’s name, Levi clutches him tighter, letting out a low hiss of air that sounds too much like a whine for his taste. He can’t help it, though. Levi thought he would never find his match, yet he is standing right here in the man’s arms, hearing him say those words.

“Erwin,” Levi breathes, testing the name on his tongue. “I thought I would never find you.” Saying it out loud makes their meeting seem even more unlikely. Living such different lives, so far away from one another. And to think, Erwin could have died out there beyond the walls without Levi ever having met him. The thought has Levi shaking, and he hates himself for it, but he cannot force himself to stop.

Erwin senses the shift in Levi’s mood, and his arms tighten. “Hey, easy, let’s go sit, okay, Levi? Let’s go sit and talk, and we can figure all this out, alright?” The clatter as they move reminds Levi that he is still completely bound in his 3D maneuvering gear, and he finds that he wants it off. He doesn’t like the thought of anything getting in the way of him and his Guide.

Erwin notices his discomfort. “Here, I’ll help you get yours off if you help me with mine.”

Levi finds that having help makes the process of removing the gear much easier, and it doesn’t take long for the both of them to be free of the straps and somewhat bulky equipment. Erwin no longer wears his heavy cloak, and Levi can’t help but rake his eyes over the man’s frame.

“Couch?” Erwin asks.

Levi nods and allows himself to be led to the threadbare sofa pushed to the corner of the small room that consists of a bed in the other corner and a bathroom off to the side. It isn’t much, but it’s just what Levi needs when he feels his control slipping.

Erwin sits, and Levi makes to sit next to him but is foiled when Erwin pulls him down so he is straddling the taller man’s lap.

“You’ll be more comfortable the more contact we have,” Erwin says, and his hands settle on Levi’s hips, grounding him.

And Levi knows Erwin is correct. He wants nothing more than to bury himself in the man under him and never be parted. Now that they are safely locked away, Levi doesn’t like the idea of anyone laying eyes on his Guide. He nearly growls at the idea of anyone touching Erwin and can immediately feel the calming waves sent through their new link. Never before has Levi felt an influence on him like this, and though he has heard of the emotional influence all Guides possess, he has never been on the receiving end of it. Levi can’t help but curl tighter into his Guide.

“Levi.” Warm hands cup Levi’s face, and he closes his eyes at the sensation. The soft tone combined with the caring touch makes Levi’s throat feel thick, and he can’t help the sharp breath of air that escapes his parted lips. He pushes forward and tucks his face under Erwin’s chin where he knows the man’s scent is strong. Erwin tilts his chin up, a sign of acceptance to the Sentinel.

“I didn’t think I would ever find you,” Erwin says, his hand now running up and down Levi’s back, warm through Levi’s thin shirt. “After all these years, I thought you were gone.” His voice has an emotional edge to it that Levi can feel through his body, reflected in his own mind. He too had thought finding his Guide was a hopeless endeavor, but now that he is sitting here in Erwin’s arms, he can’t imagine what he would have done had he never found this. He would have gone mad, was the painful truth.

“They told me living down here was suicide for a Sentinel, and that finding my Guide was hopeless,” Levi says softly. It is not something he would normally say out loud to anyone else, but this is his Sentinel who cannot leave him if he tried, who is everything he needs.

Erwin’s arm around his back tightens. “This place is awful to anyone like us,” Erwin responds. “I’ve been here a day and the emotional pain and suffering all around is nearly unbearable on my senses. I can imagine it’s even worse for you.”

Levi would snarl at anyone else from the surface who pitied him, would perhaps give them a black eye to remember him by, but this is his Guide and he can feel the sympathy and care coming off of the man under him. Levi feels the sentiment is genuine, and he knows how terrible it is living in the darkness and how he wouldn’t have lasted much longer in its depths.

“I don’t have citizenship on the surface,” Levi responds, curling his hands around the back of Erwin’s neck, fingers brushing over the base of his hair. “I’ve been down here my whole life.”

“You’re coming with me to the surface. I’ll do everything I can to get you out of here, to keep you with me.”

Levi pulls back to look at Erwin at that, drawn into the bright blue gaze that is focused on him so intently.

“I promise I will get you out of here.”

The thought of living on the surface is extremely tempting. And Levi knows that he and his Sentinel cannot be truly separated from one another without a great deal of pain, so it is only logical that Levi is the one to go to the surface, but Levi cannot help but think of Farlan and Isabel. The hesitation must show on his face, because Erwin continues.

“It may take longer, but I’ll do what I can to help find a place for your friends too.” Levi is amazed by the connection between them already.

Erwin’s face goes thoughtful. “My original mission was to get you to join the Survey Corps, but that was waylaid.”

Levi arches an eyebrow. “You want me to join the Survey Corp?”

Erwin brushes a hand through Levi’s hair. “You are extremely talented. I believe you and your gang would all make excellent soldiers.”

Levi pictures himself souring through trees, outside the walls in the fresh air and bright sunlight. He imagines fighting for the fate of humanity, fighting alongside his Guide with lethal blades in his hands. He can’t help the smile that graces his features, an expression that feels stiff on his face. “I’ll join the Survey Corps.”

Erwin smiles back, a beautiful expanse of white teeth revealed, and Levi can’t help the feeling that his Guide is perfect. _His_ Guide.

 

They spend two days in that small apartment, leaving only for food, and in that time they spend most of it pressed against one another. During bonding, it is important for the Guide and Sentinel to have contact and to begin to map each other. Erwin sprawls back on the bed and allows Levi to press his face to different parts of his body and inhale. The process of mapping is comforting to both the Guide and Sentinel, and Levi revels in the calm, almost boneless feeling it gives him afterward. He is amazed by how each day brings more control to his senses, gives him a rallying point. Erwin has become his base, and each time he feels himself losing that calm or focusing too long on one of his senses, Erwin reels him back in with a touch and a wave of soothing emotion.

Levi can’t imagine going back to the way he was before.

After they both feel calmer and more in control, Erwin suggests they begin the process of getting back to the surface. Since Erwin is a commander, he has the power of bringing his new recruits to the surface without much trouble. So, on the third day, after speaking with his subordinates, Erwin invites both Farlan and Isabel into the Survey Corps.

They stand in the house that Levi, Farlan, and Isabel share, Erwin with his arm around Levi’s shoulders and Farlan and Isabel giving them strange looks. Levi knows he is different now than he was before, and supposes it is only natural for his friends to be curious. They both know more about Levi than anyone, but they have just as little knowledge of Guides and Sentinels as anyone else living in the underground does.

“So, he really is your Guide?” Isabel asks, eyeing Erwin with wide eyes.

Levi nods, glancing at Erwin who is already watching him with a fond expression in his blue eyes. Levi finds the crinkles that form around Erwin’s eyes when he’s happy impossibly endearing, which makes Levi worry he’s going soft. Of course, when it comes to his Guide, he supposes it’s acceptable.

“He wouldn’t be touching me if he wasn’t my Guide.”

Isabel bounces on the balls of her feet. “I can’t believe it! Big brother found his Guide!” The smile on her face is blinding, and Levi can’t help the small smile it inspires on his own face.

Farlan tries to calm Isabel with a hand on her shoulder, but Levi can tell he’s happy as well. They all are, and the prospect of leaving the underground for the chance to experience what’s outside the walls is bright in their minds. They both accept, of course, especially after they hear that Levi has already decided to join the Corps. Levi can tell they want to ask more about Levi’s bonding to Erwin, but they hold back out of respect, and Levi is thankful for that. He can’t be sure

Erwin’s arm is warm around his shoulders when they finally step out into the sunlight.

 

Apparently, on the surface there are laws that protect Guides and Sentinels that don’t exist underground. For example, to interfere with a bonding pair is against the law and is reason enough to press charges. It is illegal to separate them, even if one commits a crime. In that case, both of members of the pair are taken into custody. And during bonding, they are not considered responsible for their actions if provoked.

Sentinels and Guides are also treated with much more respect on the surface, Levi finds. Underground his status was looked at with fear and distrust, and many people thought him unwieldy and dangerous. In the city, as a bonded pair, Guides and Sentinels are looked up to. It helps, of course, that bonded pairs are useful in emergencies, with the Sentinels used on the front lines and the Guides especially good at crowd control.

Sentinels and Guides of a certain status are also given housing in rural areas during the first few weeks of their bonding, and that is where Levi and Erwin find themselves after they first make it to the surface. Even though Erwin is commander of the Survey Corps, a new bond takes precedence over any projects he is currently running. He would be more of a hindrance than a help out in the field, and the fierce protectiveness that Levi feels at this point would drive him mad if he thought Erwin in danger.

So, their lives are put on hold while they stay in the small cottage lent to them for their bonding, and though neither of them are the type to happily sit in one place and let the world move around them, there’s nothing they can do about it.

And Levi finds that he likes the company of his Guide and would like his company even if they weren’t bonded. Their personalities work.

Levi finds himself telling Erwin more about himself than he’s ever told anyone, and though it makes him extremely nervous to do so, he knows his Guide will be there for him. As they sit pressed against one another on the small couch in the pleasantly sunlit living room of the small cottage, Levi speaks of the darkness of his childhood.

“When I was old enough to fend for myself, or at least old enough that my mother thought I could fend for myself, she kicked me out. I was getting harder and harder to control as my senses matured, and my temper had her at her wit’s end. I was young enough that I don’t really remember much about her other than how terrified she was of me.”

Levi has his head on Erwin’s lap, his legs sprawled across the sofa as Erwin sifts his fingers through Levi’s dark hair. The position is comfortable enough and the room is bright enough that Levi feels he can speak of these painful memories.

“Sentinels and Guides should be given immediate care, no matter where they come from,” Erwin says with a thunderous expression. “It’s no better than torture to allow someone with senses like that to be stuck underground.”

Levi shrugs. “I can’t see that working out too well. After all, there is a social hierarchy that must be maintained. If people from down below get out, then the people on the surface no longer feel good about being better.”

Erwin’s fingers are still drawing a comfortable path across his scalp, and Levi feels like melting into Erwin’s lap.

“How did you manage to control yourself for as long as you did? You seemed in control when I found you. Most Sentinels would go crazy in your situation.”

“Farlan and Isabel helped. I was good at focusing on things other than my senses. I had a purpose at the head of my gang, and that’s what kept me in control. If I hadn’t had that, yes, I would probably have gone mad. And who knows how long even that would have been enough.”

Erwin’s eyes close, and Levi can sense his unease through their bond.

“Every time I think about how low of a chance it was that we actually met, I…” He breaks off with a sigh and opens his eyes again. “Levi, I’ve said this many times, but I am so grateful to have met you.”

Levi can’t stop himself from grabbing Erwin’s free hand and placing a kiss on the palm.

Erwin tells him about his childhood, how his father had been killed because of what he knew about the walls. He talks about his plans for the Corps and how he thinks humanity’s only hope is to find out as much as they can about the titans, how even though the Survey Corps is the most dangerous part of the military, he thinks it’s the most important.

Levi respects his determination and feels his Guide’s goals are something he can get behind. After all, once they are safe to be among regular people again, Levi will be joining Erwin in the Survey Corps.

He just hopes that they are both strong and smart enough to remain uninjured beyond the walls among the titans. Levi doesn’t know what he will do if his Guide is injured. Even the thought of it has Levi gripping Erwin’s shirt, and he knows that his Guide senses immediately when Levi’s thoughts turn for the worse.

“It will be a while yet until either of us are ready to go out into the field,” Erwin says, and Levi marvels at how strong their emotional connection is. “We have to be completely sure that our bond won’t get in the way of thinking clearly, and that could take a while. I have perfectly capable captains who will run the next mission in my absence.”

Levi presses his face into Erwin’s stomach and inhales. He’s been learning how to calm himself down using Erwin, and he’s getting better at it. Erwin is becoming his baseline, his center of control, and his superior senses are becoming more of an asset than a burden. The birdcall outside, the wooden structure of the cottage creaking, the wind in the leaves of the trees; it’s all background noise now. Erwin’s heartbeat and breathing has become his focus, and the even patterns in both are a steadying metronome to Levi’s chaos.

“And by then, we’ll be such a good pair that the titans won’t know what to do with us. There is one other bonded pair in the Survey Corps and they are lethal together.”

Levi knows Erwin is being overly optimistic for his sake, but Levi feels a chill run down his spine at the image of him and Erwin fighting side by side. They would look striking beside one another, blades flashing and cloaks billowing, hair and height contrasting; night and day. He looks forward to it.

Levi learns that Erwin, though not as outwardly possessive as Levi is, craves the closeness just as much as his Sentinel does. When Levi suggests they go into town to find food that isn’t preserved or tasteless, Erwin gets a stormy look on his face that Levi discovers is because Erwin doesn’t like the idea of leaving their home base, a place he knows Levi is safe.

Levi didn’t know that Guides were also possessive.

Erwin helps Levi to learn everything he didn’t learn growing up in poverty. Levi discovers the joy of scentless soap and specially-made cloth that doesn’t irritate his nose and his skin. He gets to taste food that isn’t tainted with the musty scent of the containers it traveled in. Erwin has the status to allow them the luxury of these things. Everything in their little cottage is Sentinel-safe, and for once Levi’s senses have a break.

Erwin makes sure to feed him, because that’s apparently another thing Guides obsess over, and Levi finds he has never felt more looked-after in his life. Erwin’s whole existence is about being perfect for Levi, and Levi discovers through the way Erwin looks at him when he speaks and when he presses his face into Erwin’s neck, that Levi is everything Erwin needs as well. They fill the gap in each other’s souls.

Levi is not sentimental, but this is one thing he cannot refute. He and Erwin are made for each other, and every day he spends with the man, the closer he feels to the person he was meant to be all along.

 

They have spent nearly a month in the little cottage out in the rural areas of wall Maria, and in that time they get no further than sleeping tangled together and chaste kisses. Levi can feel his lust towards Erwin growing, but they both agree that there is no reason to rush things. Besides, there is something about the promise of further intimacy in the future that Levi enjoys. He likes the thought of there being so much more to Erwin that he has yet to learn.

“Do you think we’re about ready to go back to normal life again?” Erwin asks one dreary morning. The sound of rain pattering on the roof, Levi finds calming. It was a sound he never heard growing up, and he imagines the rain cutting them off from the rest of the world, a slice of peace amongst the chaos of life. He and Erwin are still in bed and Erwin has his arms wrapped around Levi’s chest. Levi’s head is pillowed on Erwin’s chest, and he thinks he could stay here forever, under warm covers, their legs tangled together.

“Well, I honestly can’t say how I’d feel around lots of other people. We don’t exactly have that here,” Levi responds. “I don’t think I’d shank anyone for looking at you, but I can’t be certain.”

Erwin chuckles at that, a rumble deep in his chest that has Levi shifting against him. “Levi, you’re the type of person who would shank someone for looking at _you_ funny.”

“You have a point.” Levi really thinks about what it would mean to be around other people. He imagines what he would do if someone clasped Erwin’s shoulder in a friendly gesture, and though it gives him an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, he doesn’t think he would attack the unlucky person. Everyone around them would know that they’re a newly bonded pair and would be cautious, so someone actually laying a hand on either of them would be unlikely.

“I think I’d be okay at this point. Our bond is pretty well-established, and I’m going a little stir-crazy here in this tiny shack.”

“I am too. I’m not great at being idle, especially when I know my soldiers are still out there working their fingers to the bone.”

“Always the caring commander, aren’t you?” Levi teases.

“Or course. I bet you want to see your friends, don’t you?”

Levi nods. ”They went on their first expedition without me, the jerks. I want to know how it went.”

Where they are located, not much information gets to them, and it’s mostly for the better. Too much stress during a bonding is unhealthy for both members of a bonding pair. It was with reluctance that Erwin and Levi cut themselves away from the outside world.

“Apparently the expedition went down with only minor hitches, which is a lot to be said for missions outside the wall. I don’t know if we’re any closer to the secret of the titans, but it’s good to know my strategy worked.”

Levi hums and presses his face into Erwin’s neck, appreciating the way Erwin tilts his head back for Levi without even thinking about it. “I’m ready to go back if you are,” he says. They’ve been here for nearly a month now, and Levi wants to start training, wants to get back into the 3D maneuvering gear, wants to continue living with fresh air in his lungs and the blue sky over his head.

“I’ll send a letter to the Sentinel/Guide organization that we’re leaving. We can be out of here in under two days.”

Levi turns over so he is facing Erwin, propped on one elbow to look into his Guide’s blue eyes. “After this, things will get hectic, and we won’t have this much uninterrupted time together,” Levi says, eyes roving over his Guide’s face. Erwin is conventionally attractive in many ways, with his blue eyes, strong jaw, and neat blond hair. Levi knows he himself isn’t terrible to look at, but he doesn’t possess the standard beauty of his Guide.

Levi presses closer, his mouth only inches from Erwin’s, and is pleased to see Erwin’s eyes flicker to Levi’s lips. “I think we should take advantage of the time we have left alone. After all, who knows when we’ll be somewhere secluded like this again?” Levi accompanies this statement by sliding his thigh between Erwin’s and breathing hotly on his mouth.

Erwin’s eyes darken when he gets Levi’s meaning. “I agree. We should take full advantage of the days we have left.”

Their mouths slot together, and what starts out as a slow, tender slide of their lips doesn’t stay that way. Levi parts his lips and Erwin’s tongue presses into his mouth as he grips the back of Levi’s neck with a warm hand. Their kiss deepens and the low groan Erwin releases into his mouth is like music to Levi’s ears and fire in his blood.

Levi finds the taste of his Guide to be better than the flavored tea that had been in the cupboards when they first got to the cottage, and Levi likes the feeling of Erwin’s skin against his own more than the silky soft sheets fitted onto their bed.

With the connection they share, all contact between them is intensified. They know exactly what the other needs without having to communicate out loud, so when Erwin rolls them over so he is positioned over his Sentinel, Levi gives off nothing but encouraging vibes. Erwin’s weight is pleasant in a way he hadn’t expected.

They had both bathed the night before and had decided that sleeping together was much more pleasant when there was no cloth separating them. Levi commends their decision now when skin presses against skin without the need to remove useless clothing slowing them down.

Levi hadn’t realized sex could be helpful to the bonding experience as well. Of course, it makes sense to him, now that he has the heady scent of Erwin’s sweat in his nose. He catalogues every noise Erwin makes and just what he does to elicit that noise. Levi memorizes the best places to bite and the best places to run over with the flat of his tongue.

Everyone one of his senses is focused only on Erwin, and Erwin’s name is on his lips. Levi also discovers that submitting to his Guide is as wonderful as everything else about Erwin.

Levi likes gripping Erwin’s strong shoulders as his Guide pushes into him like they were meant to fit together. As Guide and Sentinel, Levi supposes they are.

 

Two days later, they are in a carriage that will take them to Survey Corps headquarters where Levi will be trained for their next expedition, which takes place in three weeks.

“You are already an excellent fighter and can use the 3D maneuvering gear with ease. We just need to polish that up and teach you how the formation works.”

Levi doesn’t tell Erwin he already knows how the formation works from looking over Erwin’s shoulder at his notebook in the evenings in the cottage. He can sense that Erwin is eager to get back to work and eager to share that with Levi. Levi can feel the same apprehension and excitement running through his own veins.

Levi discovers that Erwin is an extremely respected commander and that his squads look up to him and trust in his judgment as much as they would their own. Commander Erwin is different than his Guide Erwin, but Levi doesn’t think that is a bad thing. He likes both versions.

It doesn’t take Levi long to settle in, after all he doesn’t have many possessions and doesn’t need to find a place in the barracks since he will be staying with Erwin in his quarters. It is strange being around all these people again, but with his Guide by his side Levi feels like he can handle it. The scents and sounds aren’t as overpowering when he has Erwin to ground him.

It is when Levi tries to find Farlan and Isabel that things go very wrong. Levi finds himself staring at a cadet holding a clipboard.

“Farlan Church and Isabel Magnolia both perished in their first mission outside the walls,” the cadet says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and not sounding nearly distressed enough for the news she is delivering. “They were attacked by a fifteen meter deviant and their squad was nearly taken out before Captain Jandre killed the titan.”

Erwin’s hand is tight on Levi’s shoulder, and that is probably the only thing that keeps Levi on his feet. There is a rushing sound in Levi’s ears and a horrible vice around his heart.

He is aware on some level that Erwin is speaking to him, is trying to get his attention, but Levi cannot focus on his voice over the pain.

This is his fault. He shouldn’t have let them join, should have told them to wait until he would be there with them. He was lounging around in a cabin while they were in danger. Levi wonders how much pain and terror they went through before they died.

Levi feels hands settle on his shoulders, gripping tightly. Levi sees Erwin’s face clouded by grief that is not his own. Levi knows that at this moment Erwin can feel exactly what Levi is feeling, and it makes him feel open, vulnerable.

“Levi,” Erwin says again, and his eyes are full of sympathy and concern, and Levi feels as though he’s stifling under the emotion.

He tries to pull away from Erwin’s grasp, tries to escape the thickness in his throat, the burning in his eyes. Erwin holds on tight, and Levi struggles for only a few more seconds before tipping forward and burying his face in Erwin’s shirt. They are standing in the middle of the barracks, and there are others milling about and shooting them curious glances, but at this point Levi focuses his attention only on his Guide.

“Levi, let’s go to my room,” Erwin says softly, and Levi pulls back just enough so that Erwin can guide them through the halls and into his quarters. He closes and locks the door.

Levi runs on instinct, allowing his mind to take a back seat as Erwin moves them to the bed and starts unbuttoning his shirt to give Levi access to his skin. Levi follows after him, allowing Erwin to pull him forward onto the bed and wrap strong arms around Levi’s back.

Levi presses his face into Erwin’s neck and breathes as deeply as he can, taking in his Guide’s comforting scent. He can feel Erwin’s attempts to sooth his emotions, and he finds himself pressing as close to Erwin as he possibly can.

“I should have been there with them their first mission,” Levi says softly. He knows his voice sounds incredibly weak, but with his Guide he cannot make himself care.

“Levi, you were bonding. There is no way you could have been there with them,” Erwin responds, his hand carding gently through Levi’s hair.

“I should have made them wait, then. I knew how dangerous the missions outside the wall would be, but I still allowed them to go out there without me.”

Erwin sighs. “Levi, your friends were highly capable and skilled, and if there is one thing you must know, when going outside the walls, even the most prepared soldiers can be taken off their guard. Even if you were there with them, they still could have died. There is no reason to be blaming yourself.”

That is when Levi starts to cry. The ache in him is so deep that he feels as though he is splitting in two, and it’s only the touch of his Guide that keeps him secure.

Levi learns that Sentinels create tight relationships with those they care about, and that today two of his pack passed away. Not only is his grief natural, but it also involves Sentinel instincts that Levi cannot control.

Levi wishes that he hadn’t been given these instincts. If it weren’t for his Guide’s arms around him, Levi would wish he wasn’t a Sentinel at all.

“Levi, I’m sorry,” Erwin says into Levi’s hair. “I’m so sorry.”

They stay like that for the rest of the evening.

 

Levi turns out to be just as good of a soldier as he was a thug in the underground, a fact that irritates some of the other soldiers who don’t like that Levi was let into the ranks. There are others who are nervous around him, but no one has been outright hostile.

That probably has something to do with his status as a Sentinel and that his Guide is their commander. Levi doesn’t care if anyone else likes him or not. He’s here to be with his Guide and to kill titans.

Levi is put into Erwin’s squad, and as they ride out to what will be Levi’s first time outside the walls, he can sense Erwin sending out calm, confident emotions to the rest of the soldiers. Levi thinks that perhaps Guides are perfect for leadership, and the sight of his Guide commanding the soldiers and looking confident and in control does something to Levi’s heart.

As they pass through the open gate, his breath is nearly taken away by the sight of the blue sky overhead, uninhibited by walls and spreading unbroken to the horizon. He can sense Erwin’s smile at his awe.

They ride uninterrupted for twenty minutes, and Levi takes in everything around him, from the trees to the wonderful fresh air. Other than the sound of the horses’ hooves on the grass, there is a silence around them that can’t be found inside the walls. Levi feels at peace more than he ever had inside.

That is, until they see a black flare against the bright blue of the sky.

“Deviant!” a soldier Levi remembers from the day he first met Erwin shouts. Mike Zacharias is his name. Mike fires a black flare at Erwin’s command and Levi takes it on himself to look out towards the flare. He can just barely make out the shape of the horrible creature.

“It looks about fifteen meters tall and seems to be heading straight towards us,” Levi says, watching carefully. “It’s an ugly son-of-a-bitch.”

“Levi, did it break through the right squads?” Erwin asks urgently.

“They’re fighting it, but it keeps batting them away. It’s not eating anyone.” Levi cringes. “It just stepped on someone.”

Erwin looks grim when Levi glances at him. “We’re altering course.”

He reaches into his bag and pulls out the flare gun, slotting the green flare into place. He fires it 45 degrees from where the deviant is, and they shift in that direction.

It isn’t fast enough to get away from the titan. Levi makes sure to keep an eye on it, and he sees that it is gaining on them. He can feel the vibrations from its footsteps, he can faintly smell its putrid stench.

“Erwin, we’re not going to get out of here in time,” Levi says. The creature is close enough that he can make out the horrible blankness of its eyes. It’s a horrible creature with a blank smile of square teeth and black hair that hangs limply from its head like a wet mop. Levi knows now why everyone fears them so.

“Prepare for confrontation,” Erwin orders. “We need to make it to the cluster of trees ahead.”

They urge their horses onward, making it into the trees just as the titan catches up to them.

“3D maneuver gear!” Erwin shouts, and there is the sound of wires _snicking_ as they get up into the trees.

“Mike, you and I will take the titan,” Erwin says, pulling out his blades as Zacharias mimics him.

The titan plods its way into the trees and is unprepared for the two highly-trained soldiers that come after it.

Mike swings down and with one slash through the calves, sends the titan down to its knees. Erwin is a flash of brown jacket and blond hair, cleaving a sizeable chunk of flesh from the titan’s nape and sending it toppling to the ground, dead.

Erwin and Mike both swing back up into the trees unharmed, but Levi can’t help the terrible clawing in his stomach at the thought of Erwin in danger. He desperately wants to grab Erwin and make a beeline back for the walls so that Erwin is out of danger from these terrible creatures. He can feel his heart racing and his instincts screaming at him to get to Erwin.

Levi makes eye contact with his Guide, and he can feel his anxiety quieting. Erwin knows what he’s doing, and he is unharmed. They will be okay.

Fifteen minutes later, when another titan breaks through the formation and comes at them, Mike’s 3DMG jams and prevents him from taking out the titan’s neck like he’s supposed to. This allows the titan to come after Erwin at full speed, whose gear is still connected to the creature’s calves, and since the other soldiers are preoccupied with the smoke signals, Levi has to think fast.

He launches off his horse and swings straight for the back of the titan’s neck, narrowly avoiding a swiping hand and clacking, terrible teeth. He manages a clean slash through the titan’s neck, and the thing is toppling to the ground, dead. Levi has to execute a roll when he hits the ground to soften the impact, but other than the jolting pain as he hits, he is unharmed. He looks up to see Erwin standing by the fallen titan, staring at him.

In fact, whole squad is staring at him. From Erwin he can feel something like intense pride and it causes him to straighten and wipe the steaming blood off the side of his face.

Levi and Erwin find that with their bond comes an easy teamwork and lethal skill. They run into two more titans during the expedition, both of which Levi and Erwin take care of easily and with exhilaration running through their veins.

It turns out fighting together is another way to strengthen a bond, and it is enough to get Erwin and Levi nearly operating on the same wavelength. They are nearly one, and Levi thinks about how this is close to what he had with Farlan and Isabel, and looking at Erwin’s fierce and strong face riding next to him, it lessens the ache in Levi’s heart.

 

Levi falls in deeper and deeper love with Erwin, and though a life in the Survey Corps is by no means easy, it is much better than the life he had before he met Erwin. In fact, Levi finds his life to be just what he needs. He and Erwin are an unstoppable team, and they are respected in a way Levi never had before. He is looked up to, and it makes some part of him proud to know that he is viewed that way.

Levi used to not care what people thought of him; he never knew what it would be like to be a role model, a hero.

Levi finally knows what it is like to truly belong somewhere, to be around people who love him and trust his decisions, and he wishes Farlan and Isabel were here to experience this with him. They loved him unconditionally, but it was during a time that Levi was unstable and unhappy. He wishes they could see him now.

Levi is happy, embarrassingly so, and he owes it all to his wonderful Guide who managed to fill the hole in Levi’s life and in his heart. It’s sappy, but Levi knows it to be true just as he knows he is happy to be with Erwin for the rest of his life, however long that will be.

The Sentinel and Guide are meant to be.


End file.
